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The Bachelor - Week One

So it's that time of year again. One of my favorite guilty pleasures is back on TV. Rise up Bachelor Nation, its time. Time to unwind in front of the TV while watching 25 girls fall madly, head over heels in love with the same guy all while planning their post bachelor Instagram and Snapchat careers.

This is a big season for the Bachelor. They are celebrating their 20th Bachelor (I must be getting old) and luckily they couldn't have picked a better one - Mr. Ben Higgins. Although it really didn't take much to top the last two bachelors from season 18 and 19. Ben's just super adorable, gracious, non threatening, has an upper lip and can hold a conversation unlike the previous two bachelors. Score!

To keep it interesting this year I started a BACHELOR fantasy league with my girlfriends at It's a ton of fun and makes the show even more interesting. Let me tell ya, the fantasy league has even gotten some of my friends husbands watching and talking about the show. This league is going to do wonders for my friends marriages. They can thank me later.

Ok first things first, we need to discuss that driveway. It's always so slick and nicely watered down for the limo arrivals. I mean it sure does look beautiful on camera but man, do the producers not know we are in a drought. Anything for romance I guess.

Ok, now that I got that off my chest, let's get to the ladies. Where do they find them? These chicks are pure entertainment. The thing that always strikes me as funny are their job titles. This year we have a Chicken Enthusiast, Twin, and Cowgirl. Who knew these were actual occupations? Oh hello, meet my fiancé, she's a chicken enthusiast who has framed photos of her chickens up in her bedroom. Not weird at all. And what about Caila. Oh Caila. She looks so sweet and innocent but then she tells us she dumped her boyfriend after feeling all fuzzy inside while watching Ben on TV. That doesn't seem natural. Maybe she just ate something that didn't sit well with her. I don't know. I've got to give her props for following her gut! There was Mandi the wacky dentist, who had to take it up a notch and wear a ridiculous humongous rose on her head plus give him a dental exam in the backyard. Maegan (i've never seen it spelled that way, but I guess it's a thing since I looked it up) who showed up with her mini horse. I have to admit I'm a sucker for mini anything so I fell for it, but doesn't seem like bachelor Ben did and Shushanna (another spelling I've never seen) who didn't speak a lick of English.

Speaking of interesting names, have any of you met anyone named Lace before? Who cares because we just met the best one last night. I want Lace to be on every season of the Bachelor. Her drunk jealous girlfriend act on night one stole the show. I mean, please Ben keep her around purely for the entertainment. She reminded me so much of Cecily Strong's SNL character "the girl you wished you hadn't started a conversation with at a party". Check it out!

Olivia I don't believe for a second. Homegirl definitely has ulterior motives. She left her job as a news anchor to pursue love. I think it's more like she left her small market TV job hoping to trade up and become the next Ali Fedotowsky and land a job at E! News. You tell me.

I have very little to say about the return of Becca and Amber. What a bore. Both girls are as exciting as 6th period trigonometry. I can see Becca hanging around for a while, no one wants to dump the virgin, but I don't think Amber will make it far. Ben was looking at her like he had no idea who she was when she walked in.

I've got to say Jubilee surprised me. I originally thought she may be a little too much for Ben. She seems sassy and tough, but Ben seemed smitten as soon as she got out of the limo. I think she's in for a bit.

I'm rooting for Lauren B. the flight attendant. I actually felt like they had a connection. The way they were talking to each other on the steps seemed authentic and flirty. Something that would happen naturally even if the TV cameras weren't there. I also like Amanda, the single mom, but I don't know how far she is going to make it. She seemed a little subdued and a house with all this crazy you need to stand out.

I guess we are all in for an emotional ride in order to see who our hunky Bachelor chooses. Buckle up it's going to get bumpy!


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